Age of Cynicism

It's the 27th of June. 17 days since G said he will transfer to J who will then pass it to me. Complicated? No. He's trying to be clever. He thinks that by doing this he firstly gets me off his back, secondly he thinks that i won't ask J and thirdly J won't ask him.

After his very busy excuse, gambling boat excuse, sick excuse; which means he was either busy 24/7 can't eat can't shit can't piss can't go to atm can't access internet too busy to meet me or even go to atm to transfer but free enough to meet me at my place to quarrel or too sick to move can't do anything when sick but can play pool but can't transfer but can come over to my place to quarrel again or hey hey gambling boat to gamble also considered busy and can be used as an excuse haha; he has came out with the latest lame excuse.

J called him on the 25th June, 15 days since he said he will do the transfer. He said he already did the transfer. WOW. Finally. J went to check his account. 0 ZERO ZILCH NOTHING. So J called him again and this time he said he asked his UNCLE to transfer. Hm..... Uncle do the transferring, he already transferred, somehow it doesn't collate. He already transferred then when J checked and found nothing it became he ask his uncle to transfer? C'mon he had 15 fucking days to do the transfer and in the end he ask his uncle to transfer? The best part is he told J he will check with his uncle and after that he just kept quiet and dragged another 2 days to 27th. LoL.... Fucking Lame.

I requested J to make a final phone call to him to ask exactly what is he doing. This will probably be the last time i will ask J about this matter anymore. I feel bad about asking him all the time and perhaps a tad disappointed. I would have kinda expected him to be on my side and understand the whole situation and how G is trying to fuck me around but perhaps he has his reasons. Anyway i can sense he's not too happy about being made to be in the middle so i guess this will be the last time this matter is going to involve him.

To be honest i would have done more if the situation was reversed and won't be able to be nice to someone who's pulling a fast one on my best friend since childhood.


P.S. Just so it's clarified I'm slightly disappointed but not angry or anything because from the beginning it wasn't your fault or your problem and i'm sure you didn't expect him to be such a fucker although i must say from the beginning i had bad vibes about this person and i did point it out to you before that somehow i don't trust him.

Posted by Cynical Sam at 5:51 AM | Permalink | Comments

Returned the bike to J today. Left my place around 930ish. Reached his place almost 12. Around 930ish went to meet my friend who was kind enough to accompany me to return the bike and send me back. We went to eat first and then I lost my way on the road to J's place. J wasn't too happy about the waiting. That was my fault. Didn't communicate with him properly what time i would reach and losing my way didn't help.

I can understand him being unhappy about waiting. I'm still waiting for G to fulfill his new arrangement. It's been 1 week+ and i still haven't heard anything. If J is unhappy about waiting for 2 hours, which was my fault and he has every right to be, can you imagine how pissed I am about G?

Anyway I'm tired now and I'm going to bathe. Once again sorry for making you wait.

Special thanks to C for being kind enough to accompany me all the way to J's place, for not being angry when i lost my way and also for sending me home.

Posted by Cynical Sam at 12:40 AM | Permalink | Comments

For those that I’ve kept waiting without updates, sorry, was busy and lazy to write new posts. As for the revamp I did one design but it was shot down by my friends for being bo liao. LoLz. Lazy to do another one now. This post is quite long and basically a rant. Enjoy.

Since you have the audacity to ask for an apology I think I shall do it here. I apologise for not knowing you're sick when I called you on Wednesday, EVEN THOUGH you said you will call me on Monday but hey you're the fucking gangster so whatever you say MUST be fucking right. Although I THINK I heard the sound of pool or billards. I must have been wrong because you were sick right? I apologise that when you said "Call me back later." It means "I'm fucking sick and dying already, can't talk now because if I say I'm sick I might just die and no that's not pool or billards, it's your imagination." I apologise that when you say "Call me later." The later means when you wish to not as in really later. The later can be after World War 3 or after we discover time travel. I apologise for calling you 3 times on Thursday and you didn't pick up the phone and I msged you "Everybody's patience got a limit." In your opinion people should just wait for you and we should be VERY patient when you miss deadlines that YOU FUCKING SET time after time, day after day. When you msged me back sorry you were sick I should've replied "OH YOU FUCKING POOR THING I'M SO SORRY TO KEEP ASKING YOU ABOUT THE DEADLINES THAT YOU'VE MISSED LEH." I shouldn't have said "Do things steady abit can?" I really apologise for that. I should have replied "CAN YOU BE MORE FUCKING RESPONSIBLE." Since you said Monday and you SAID you're sick on Wednesday and Thursday I really don't see much link but hey you must be right because you will fight me to prove you're right, right? Yeah you're right, I'm not the only person you have to cater to, you have a job, you have gambling boats to go gambling on, pools to play, alcohol to consume etc etc etcefuckingtra.

Let me explain why I kept quiet when you were staring and trying to induce a fight to prove your point. Because you think we're fucking primary school or secondary school? Based on your attitude do you think you would listen to reason? Do you think you'll admit it's your fault for delaying and dragging and breaking the dates you set? No, you'll simply want to fight, gangster ma. OoOoOoo so scared. The reason why I don't want to indulge you in your little shouting war and cursing and fighting is because it's not fucking worth it. Think for a minute. So what if we fought? Then? Proves what? You beat me I pain, I beat you you pain. Police come we get caught. THINK CAN? You say I can drop you a friendly sms. I'm sick of dropping friendly smses ok? First you said 29th of May or 30th of May. Then I contacted you on 30th and you said you're busy. Ok fine, no problem, friendly ma. Next day you smsed me, Meet in office or outside? I said anything and asked you for time. You said after 5 when you finish work. Ok sure. I said we meet around 6 then and you say confirm time and place later. Ok sure. 4+ sms you, you say still working. Ok never mind. Move on to the next day. Even though it's a public holiday but you didn't contact me. At night when I finally couldn't stand waiting and I smsed you, no reply. Ok I call; you say you in gambling boat call me later when you reach Singapore. In the end you say meet tomorrow. Well well.... gambling boat..... You broke the own date you set AFUCKINGAIN because you wanted to go to the gambling boat. GOOD FUCKING REASON. Friday, 1st of June. Can't remember if you contacted me. I think you did during the afternoon to say you'll meet me after you finish work. Ok. Around 6-8 can't remember I called you to ask when exactly do you intend to pass me the money and meet me and said that it's been a few days, Mandarin call 几天 and you fucking started shouting and scolding FIRST. REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT "FRIENDLY SMS". You made it fucking sound like delaying me is the fucking right thing to do. You told me about you need to work, the pulling out and I said 不管我的事 because you know why? It's NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS. YOU CAN TRANSFER IN 5 MINS FROM ATM, INTERNET OR YOU CAN EVEN TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE AND I GO AND MEET YOU IMMEDIATELY. In the first place the arrangement was for me to leave the stuff in the office and you transfer the money to me. Simple. I drop the stuff in the office, I call or sms you to say it's there, you transfer. How much time of your busy busy BUSY schedule can that take? After that YOU changed it to MEET first to pass you the stuff and then you transfer. I can accept that AS LONG AS YOU DON'T KEEP DRAGGING. The reason I say this is because finally on Saturday when you finally found time off your BUSY schedule to meet me, the actual thing took around 15 mins....... I pass you the things, you casually browse through, we walk to atm, we queue and you take money pass me. Most of the time was spent on WALKING AND QUEUEING. Never mind. You say need to sign a receipt or something, next Monday YOU SAY YOU WILL CALL ME TO MEET AND SIGN AND YOU PASS ME THE 100 fucking gazillion dollars. Seriously you think I still believe you? How stupid of me. When you say YOU CALL ME I really BELIEVED YOU AGAIN, SO STUPID RIGHT? Monday come Monday gone, Tuesday come Tuesday gone. Then Wednesday night, quite pissed of waiting for YOUR call which YOU SAID YOU WILL CALL. As above I might have heard wrongly but anyway you said "CALL ME LATER" AFUCKINGAIN. Obviously by now everybody can guess what happens next. YOU NEVER CALL. This is where things really start getting exciting. As is said above, I called you three times, never answer the phone, after I sms everybody patience got limit because it's the fucking truth, everybody's patience has a limit! I just wanted you to give me a CONFIRMED TIME AND DATE. Oh no according to you, your immature gangster blood must be boiling now even though you said sorry but you were sick on Wednesday and Thursday. First fucking point, you said Monday so what has Wednesday and Thursday got to do with it? Second fucking point, Wednesday when you did pick up the phone you could've said that you were fucking dying on your deathbed which you apparently were because you're so sick to even meet me at Toa Payoh NEAR YOUR HOUSE AGAIN FOR 5 MINUTES WHICH IS HOW MUCH TIME WE NEED TO SIGN YOUR "PAPER" AND PASS ME 100 GAZILLION DOLLARS. Therefore if you can THINK you must have realised how pissed off it is to keep getting fucked around. Therefore I sms you "Steady abit can?" That was my mistake; it should've been "Be MORE FUCKING RESPONSIBLE CAN." And a repeat of the previous week, you called, shouted, ranted, scolded, wanted to fight. As I’ve explained above don't be so childish and stupid can? MAYBE you can explain to me first before I agree to a fight WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY AND WHY YOU'RE TOO FUCKING SICK TO MEET ME AND CALL ME ON WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY BUT SO FUCKING HEALTHY TO COME ALL THE WAY TO MY PLACE TO MEET ME FOR A FIGHT. CAN COME ALL THE WAY HERE TO FIGHT CANNOT COME ALL THE WAY HERE AND PASS ME MY MONEY AND LET ME SIGN YOUR STUPID PAPER? FUCKING ILLOGICAL. Come on lar, GROW UP. You tried missing payments to banks or other companies? SAME FUCKING THING, initially they will be very nice, you give them new date they will say ok then second time third time they fucking send you lawyer letter. AND THEY CHARGE FUCKING OBSCENE INTEREST AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THEIR LAWYER LETTER. That's the civilized world which perhaps you're not so familiar with. How about your "gangster style"? Want to try and owe Loan sharks money? You try and tell them you got job don't cater to them last minute pull out give you alot of problem sick lar gambling boat lar. I DARE YOU TO TRY. And the fucking funny thing is you don't think you owe me money. IF NOT OWE ME THEN WHAT? IT'S WHAT I SHOULD GET AND WHAT YOU SHOULD GIVE AND WHEN YOU NEVER GIVE IT'S CALLED OWE! You make it sound like I should be fucking grateful you were even willing to GIVE ME WHAT IS MINE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE. Owe doesn't mean you borrow from me and return me then call owe. When you use, purchase, hire, a service and you used the service and never pay it's called OWE. You next month try don't pay your handphone bills or whatever bills lor. Tell them that is not OWE. Do you even realise how childish and immature you are when you shout lar scold lar want to jio 1 on 1 lar fight lar. Want to do business yet every single fucking time got disagreement your method is to shout, scold and fight. Wake up your idea lar. Even REAL gangsters will despise you. If every time anyone has a disagreement with someone else they act like you there won't even be humans and society as we know now. Only animals behave that way and moreover NOT ALL TYPES OF ANIMALS...... AND YOU WILL NEVER ADMIT IT'S YOUR FAULT. You really think dragging, breaking deadlines, making empty promises is OK? In business, credibility is 1 of the most important thing, as in meeting deadlines. Not like you delay, drag and give all kinds of excuses which are irrelevant and basically none of my business. If you're reading and so far you still think you're correct and want to fight or call me and scold or jio me 1 on 1 then forget it. I will simply keep quiet and apologise again if that's what you fucking want and I’ll never want to have anything to do with you anymore. Actually I already don't want to have anything to do with you. Oh the best bester bestest part! Today you say you'll pass J the money and he transfer to me AFTER you check your office to see if there's anything missing. So weird, so long already you also cannot be bothered to check and now how come so simple? Where's your fucking paper which MUST BE SIGNED? How do you explain such a simple solution took you 1 fucking week? I doubt you can and must be thinking of scolding me, shouting, jio me fight again....... Because when you can't reason you fight, maybe that's why you ALWAYS want to fight. Are you fiercer than the police? You want to fight them too? If possible to fight I will fight with you in Court or whatever place whereby civilised people talk reason. Complain about buey song my sms, not happy, I’m not "friendly". Take a good long fucking hard look in the mirror first and answer yourself honestly, do you honestly think what you did is right and without blame. And don't be an idiot lar. There's nothing in the fucking office that interests me and you want to hint that things might be missing when you haven't even stepped in there for such a long time? What a joke. My conscience is clear, if you really feel that something is missing call the police. We can check the CCTVs and the fucking security guards can be my fucking witnesses because I left the things with them before going out to catch a cab. The only things I moved were the things that J said DOES NOT belongs to you. 1 PC 1 MONITOR 1 KEYBOARD and J's CDs. Your mouse, monitor, laptop, photocopier, fresh air thing, speakers, radios, Vodafone, lamps, sofa all still there. Don't judge others using the standards you set for yourself. If you don't understand what that means forget it. ALL YOUR THINGS ARE THERE! AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY AFTER THURSDAY I NEVER CALL YOU ANYMORE? CAUSE I FUCKING GAVE UP AND IF NOT FOR TODAY I THINK YOU STILL FUCKING HAPPY AND THINK YOU'VE WON. I JUST CANNOT BE BOTHERED ABOUT IT AND YOU ANYMORE OK? DON'T BELIEVE ASK Z, I TOLD HIM I CANNOT BE ARSED ANYMORE. Courage are firemen, policemen, people who risk their life to do something good, not fight for no fucking reason and think that by fighting they sibei wu ji. Come on please. GROW UP.

Although this part has nothing to do with what happened between you and me but I just want to point out to you how your thinking, your logic, everything is so flawed. You mention it only needs 3-6 months to make it work, 1 month get 5-6 no problem. Far East alone got 10. HELLO? 1 year plus already. FOUR 3 MONTHS AND 2 SIX MONTHS ALREADY. If you had been hardworking and really worked for it, maybe by now it's already a roaring success. What? Got job? Need pay bills? Pay for car? Come on lar. How fucking lame. If you really believe it can work you quit your fucking deadend job and work hard on this. You scared cannot make enough money for your "EXCUSES"? Let's say you changed your mind, you're not sure whether will work or not. Ok fine can be accepted. Nobody knows for sure whether anything really will work or not ma. So? What's next? WORK EVEN HARDER AND DO IT DURING YOUR FREE TIME LAR! You really expect people to believe your job really requires you to work 24/7? You think you're the fucking CEO of a MNC? You're just looking for excuses lar. If you really want to make it work no matter how tired you are, you will find ways and work hard for that elusive 3-6 months you keep saying. And you say you got some appointments from MY LIST? WOW! YOU THINK WITHOUT MY LIST YOU CAN GET APPOINTMENTS? YOU THINK IF I NEVER CALL THEM AND TALK TO THEM YOU CAN GET APPOINTMENTS? YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY NOT MUCH APPOINTMENTS DURING THIS MONTH? BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SPENDING MOST OF MY TIME GETTING CONTACTS OF INTERESTED PARTIES. YOU THINK YOU'LL EVEN HAVE A LIST TO BEGIN WITH? YOU THINK YOU CAN DRAG AND DELAY AND WASTE MY TIME WAITING FOR YOU TO BE "FREE" BUT THEY MUST REPLY ME IMMEDIATELY? DOUBLE FUCKING STANDARD THINKING. Congratulations on getting appointments from MY LIST. Let's see you make appointment with them then say another day lor. Tell them the excuses you gave me lor. How do you think they will react? you think they will okok and wait for you or they will ask you to fuck off and stop calling them? THINK CAREFULLY BEFORE EVEN ANSWERING.

To basically summarize everything, your reasoning, excuses, behaviour, actions are all flawed, illogical, childish and immature. You only think about yourself and you believe that you are always right and if challenged and you can't come up with a reason fight lor. Eh not talk loud act gangster win already. Doing business and dealing with people is not about buey song 1 on 1 lor. Your idea will always be just an idea unless you really do something about it, not here do abit there do abit call do already. Anyway I don't really know exactly what you did or what you are doing but it doesn't seem much and apparently it's not working. And a fucking example that sorts of sums you up in my eyes. Your fucking price list was supposed to be emailed to me early May and until now I haven’t receive anything. And the only time I got to see your pricelist was during the appointment and your calculations are fucking wrong. 1 year+ already and you never notice anything wrong with it. SO FUCKING BUSY AND HARDWORKING HOR? By the way the idea is nothing new and nothing fantastic so don’t worry nobody will want to steal your "idea". A simple thing like transferring money to me which if you really wanted to do could've been done so quickly and simply (as proven when it happened). It became such a mess because of YOU. Change your fucking attitude lar. Just because I keep quiet it doesn't mean you are right or that I’m afraid of you. It means that to me it's not worth it to get into trouble with the law because of someone like you. Please lar who the fuck do you really think you are? Nowadays people use brains lar, which is a disadvantage to you, if you really think you so eh sai talk to me and jio me 1 on 1 in a police station. What? Scared? GANGSTER NO SCARED POLICE ONE OK! DARE TO TALK LOUD LOUD MEANS ALSO DARE TO SAY IN FRONT OF POLICE LOR. I DARE TO SHOW THEM MY SMS WHICH MADE YOU BUEY SONG YOU DARE TO JIO ME AND BEAT ME THERE OR NOT? DON’T ACT SUD SUD LAR. SINGAPORE BIGGEST PAIKIA IS THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT NOT YOU THIS LAO BENG WANNABE. Whatever I smsed or said I dare to say in front of the police but you dare to say what you said and do what you plan to do in front of them? Stop finding all kinds of excuses to justify yourself which simply makes you even more of an ass. Your excuses are irrelevant and to put it bluntly none of my fucking business and therefore they are not reasons for delaying me, especially something so simple which can even be done through the internet. Grow up, stop acting gangster, it doesn't work. One day it might really get you into deep trouble and by that time even if you want to regret, it's too late. Stop acting tough and keep saying fight fight fight because no matter how tough you appear to be, right is right and wrong is wrong and PERHAPS, although I highly doubt so, deep down you know it too. There's one fucking thing you were right about though. We are not friends, never was, never will be. The reason I even bothered doing this post is basically to explain myself and vent my feelings. If you ever have a chance to read this and still want to fight and quarrel? It just proves that I’m right about you.

P.S. I wrote this post that very day on Sunday when this whole thing happened and I haven’t slept in almost 40 hours so I apologize for any spelling or grammer mistakes which I have made. I tried to write down the facts as close as possible to what happened and if I sound emotional maybe it’s because I am. The reason for the delay in posting was because I was writing another post that is more coherent and less emotional but after the first paragraph I cannot be bothered anymore. There are certain things I could write better, explain more clearly and use better analogies but I’m too lazy to do that.

P.P.S. During that fateful Sunday he mention he will pass the money to J on Monday and that J will pass it to me. What happened to his fucking piece of "paper" which i need to sign? Don't need to sign anymore? Fucking funny. I doubt he’s even went to the office to check whatever he wishes to check yet even though he said he will do it. I guess it's what's to be expected of him.

Posted by Cynical Sam at 7:08 PM | Permalink | Comments

Sorry about the long time in between updates. I haven't been able to find something i wish to blog on. Actually it's not that there's nothing to blog on but the fact that certain stuff are too sensitive. Even though a blog is meant to be about what are my innermost thoughts, but somehow I'm afraid of the consequences. Had some discussion with my friends and one told me to just write, the other told me to be tactful. Unfortunately tactful is not 1 of my stronger points, therefore after some thinking i came out with this post. Moral Dilemma 道德挣扎.

What do I mean by moral dilemma? Have you ever came across incidents in your life whereby you have to choose between doing the right thing and doing the "right" thing? For example you saw a person who is obviously quite rich drop a $50 note. An old beggar who is handicapped and starving then picked it up. What do you do? Do you do the right thing and inform the rich man who obviously doesn't need the $50, or do you do the "right" thing and let the poor old beggar get some decent food? This is a social moral dilemma typified by the NKF case. Durai was obviously doing excellent stuff for the kidney patients. They have highly qualified healthcare professionals taking care of them and enjoy great facilities at low costs but because they found him being shady with the way he utilised the funds and therefore prosecuted him. Even though he paid himself huge amounts he was still earning less than what he would have earned if he had been in the public sector. And do not forget he was also paying his staff good wages and was doing an excellent job with the NKF. During his tenure they had many successes in helping poor kidney patients and even managed to help other countries and was about to initiate more programs to help children with cancer and research into kidney diseases. If not for the fact that this case was brought to court he would have retired being hailed a great man. Just because he's in the business of charity he should live like a pauper? Then how do you justify our Govt. increasing their pay? Isn't it the same thing? They are getting huge amounts of money even though they are earning less than in the private sector and their jobs involve taxpayers' money and it's a public service. See the parallel? How much exactly is too much and how much is too little? Was Durai paid too much for doing a great job with NKF? Remember NKF even had reserves in excess of millions! Many patients are in fact grateful to him and if the press had reported on the story from another angle there would be more people who would stand by him.

Another form of moral dilemma we face in our everyday life comes from friends and families. How often have you found out about friends or families doing something terribly wrong but because they are your friends/families you hesitate to expose them even if you know hesitation on your part brings greater misery to someone else or even everyone involved? Do you have the courage to go up to them and say "hey i think what you're doing is very wrong and is it possible to do things another way or stop?" Many of us lack this courage, I'm no different. We're afraid of losing the friendship, of being ostracized as a traitor, of being an outcast within our family.

Think about it. What would you do whenever you face a moral dilemma? Do you have the courage to call a spade a spade and do the right thing or would you shirk and do the "right" thing? Are you doing the right thing no matter which path you choose?

Posted by Cynical Sam at 6:19 PM | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Cynical Sam at 3:16 PM | Permalink | Comments

An incident recently prompted me to write this article. It's actually something which i think most people have either done or encountered but somehow I can't get around it. The incident in question? Being messaged on msn by someone who is appearing offline.

I simply don't get it.

Why the fuck would you wanna log in to msn but appear offline? If you're busy and have no time to talk on msn then don't bloody log in. If you're temporary unavailable then log in later or put an away sign or busy sign, that's what they are there for. If there are people you wish to avoid or not talk to you can either ignore them, block and delete them since you're avoiding them which means you don't wish to be their friends therefore there's no point in keeping them on your list right?

I believe it is because humans by nature loves to voyeur. They derive pleasure from being able to see someone or something without being found out. Even as kids we were already playing a game called "Hide N Seek". Remember how fustrating you felt the last time you know someone has a secret but you don't know what it is? How you tried all ways and means to find out? How satisfying you felt when you know something others don't know that you know? How mighty and powerful you felt when you found out some deep dark secret about someone? Therefore hiding behind "appearing offline" on msn somewhat satisfy their thirst for voyeurism. They may not be busy, they might even be bored to death, yet they will still appear offline just so they can voyeur. This is also the reason for the popularity of reality tv, pornography, blogs etc. People want to know about others without exposing themselves as the "knower". They want to know how you look like in the morning, they want to know how a person behaves when they think no one is watching, they want to know how does the person act in bed. They simply want to know. Humans are by nature, voyeuristic. Too tired to go on, maybe there will be a part 2, maybe not?
Curious?

*Boom* Your voyeuristic self has just been exposed.

Posted by Cynical Sam at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

I've finally done it. A new template for my blog. Spent about 3 hours doing this up and also register for an Adsense account. Funny. They placed an emergency ad for my blog. LoL. Maybe next time someone has a passport scare they can click on my ad hahaha. Submitted my links to yahoo, msn and google. If there's anyone out there who knows how to enhance the blog, get more advertising and if you have any comments regarding the design of the blog pls leave a comment for me yeah? Also let me know if you wish to exchange links, i'm more than willing to do so =)

P.S. I'll try my best to update this everyday so come check it often ok? >;)

Posted by Cynical Sam at 6:11 PM | Permalink | Comments